Today, my son graduated from preschool…there was a time I didn’t know if this would be possible—there was a time I didn’t even know if he’d make it out of the hospital. I’m writing from a new town, where we moved because my husband wanted to seek a better financial situation, in case we’d need to take care of our son for the rest of his life.
We don’t believe that will be the case anymore…Praise God for that! But we still have many challenges and unknowns. And in the beginning of this journey there were so many uncertainties.
Perhaps you, like me, had some of these questions: did God really oversee everything? does he actually have control over the microscopic? what about human error? was there anything I could have done differently to avoid this? if I would have taken better care of myself, would something be different now? when was the exact moment my child got sick? what was I doing?…what was God doing? what was he thinking?!…does he really know me and yet decided to put this child under my care?! did he get the wrong address?
His hand in the details
Friend, there is nothing that escapes from God’s sovereignty. He was there watching when my son was hit by a virus and when that virus damaged parts of his brain and caused him to be deaf. But God wasn’t standing watching with his arms crossed. No, he was allowing this to happen and at the same time pouring out his love to my beautiful baby (and to this mama).
We can trust that he is a holy God—there is not one ounce of evil motives in his heart. Everything he does is an overflow of his purity and holiness. When we think we would choose something different, we can trust that he is wiser and more loving than us. He loves our children way more than we could ever love them. So, we’re all better if we let God decide. 
“The potter forms the clay, and the clay does not question its design or purpose. But it has no need to—He is a good potter, and He knows what He is doing.” 
Hope in eternity
1 Peter 1:6-9 says: “In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.”
Sisters, in this journey we have many options: lose ourselves in despair, try to fight for our children with all our strength and become exhausted or set our hope in Christ and his resurrection—while we depend on him moment by moment.
Help for today
Paul Tripp in his book Parenting reminds us that God wants to grant us everything we need to raise the children he gave us. He wants us to acknowledge our weaknesses so we can come to him for help.
“God knew that our calling would be so huge and our weakness so deep that the only thing that would help us was himself. So in an act of incredible grace, he has unbuttoned us and gotten inside of us. Now, think about this as a parent. This God who has the ability to do things that are way beyond your ability to conceive, who has perfect wisdom and unlimited strength, right now lives inside of you…He really does live inside you. You really aren’t left to yourself. And he will not turn his back on you until what he has called you to do as a parent is complete.” 
His power is infinite, his strength doesn’t give up after we’ve spent day after day in the hospital, his wisdom doesn’t fail when we’re given so many options, his patience stands when we haven’t slept for three days. He wants to hear our pleas and he wants to help us today.
“Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” Hebrews 4:14-16
In our weakness, he wants to provide wisdom to make difficult financial and medical decisions, patience in the middle of processes that take longer than we want and hope that he is with us at every moment of this process.
Many things can be uncertain, but nothing is uncertain in the mind of God. He knows the outcome. We can trust in his providence.